Elderly Man Questioned After Joyriding Shopping Cart: According to a report in the Lower Providence Patch, an elderly man was questioned by police after he was observed riding a shopping cart on Trooper Road. The incident was initially reported as a "theft in progress" by Acme, but police later stated that they declined to arrest the suspect. Read the full story here.

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Life Imitates Seinfeld: According to a report in the Perkiomen Valley Patch, a 16-year-old piece of wedding cake was amongst several items stolen from a vehicle in Skippack Township. The suspect(s) also stole two lighters and a "billfold cardholder" before fleeing the scene. Read the full story here.

Drunk Driver Crashes Into State Store: According to a report in the Limerick-Royersford-Spring City Patch, a "cleary impaired" driver crashed his Ford Mustang convertible into the front of a Wine and Spirits store on Ridge Pike. Fortunately, no one was injured. Read the full story here.

An Absolut Apeach: According to a report in the Abington Patch, police arrested a woman for DUI after she crashed her vehicle on Old York Road. Police would later discover a half-empty bottle of Absolut Apeach vodka in the vehicle. Read the full story here.

See Also:

OMG PD: Dopes Bring Dope to Prison

OMG PD: Drunk Daughter Pops Pops, Bomb Bandit Strikes Giant

OMG PD: Botched Robberies and Bodily Fluids